Saturday, December 05, 2015

Going Forth to Multiply


Going Forth to Multiply

By Andrew Hennessey

Oh big elastic dangly bridge
Ower the silvery Forth
It’s a great shame that you’re
All cracked up
With problems so immense

You’re now a suspension bridge
That keeps no business in suspense
Your metal towers weary stance,
Metal fatigue which at a glance
Is fit only for cycle or ambulance

No more white van or HGV
Speeding home in time for tea
To the ancient Kingdom
And with rusty cables
At your gables
There’s no more need to worry
All traffic now must stop
Because no-ones in a hurry

Eleven mile jams all up the valley
Beggars understanding
Because everybody and their brother knows
The next bridge is Kincardine

It all might end
With the newest bridge
Whilst commuters hide in the park and ride
By the thousands in all weather
Business done by the iPhone fax
Green Scots pay their Carbon Tax
Wait in queues and blether
With internet in the Park and Ride
Business is somewhat peripatetic

I hope the next bridge works much better
Because this one is pathetic.